In conversation with god

I : Perumaley! (blinking hard)

God: What’s up? All good? How you doing?

I: I am ok. Not a very nice last three months. Like you don’t know!

God: I know, I know. Just wanted to know what you felt about it.

I: Ah! Nothing. Just a passing cloud type feeling. I am good. Almost.

G: It’s known as taking everything in the right spirit, you know. All part of the cycle of life, karma and all. Have you realized, all these so-called suffering has made you patient?

I: Ya. Ya. Easy for you to say. Bah! Forget it. I have stopped analyzing these things. You know, I have started seeing different aspects of life as a parallel path in the circuit of life. Even if one is not working the other paths are active.

G: Good girl. Whatever works for you.

I: So which one of the ten vishnus are you? I generally called out “permulaey”.

G: Funny, you must ask me this question. I heard you telling that friend of yours that the Vishnu avatarams were a manifestation of the impersonal to the personal. So that common folks could connect to a human form instead of an infinite supreme force.

I: Oh God! So, You do listen to everything I say or do? You saw me butting into the line the other day in the railway station, too?

G: Yeah. And also you swearing on your lab mate, the other day. What exactly was that?

I: Damn! I felt a little bad about it later, but he so totally deserved it. I would have apologized later but I don’t feel like looking at his face only.

G: Don’t worry. It’s not worth wasting your time over such faulty pieces . People make mistakes. They learn and improve or that’s how I meant the world to be. I’ve given you your own brain and a heart. It is up to you people to judge , analyze and do what you feel is right. You don’t have to be a Gandhi to be kind . You can be a normal human and be an idealist. Remember never to repeat a mistake, though.

I: hmm…. You are just like in the Geeta. Ossum wonly this is.

G: Whatever works for you.

I: I have a doubt.

G: Shoot!

I: Sometimes, when I am thinking about you in English and sometimes praying, do you like listen to me? Or If I speak in English, it’s Jesus who is listening to me.

G: Whoever gave you such an idea! Language is essentially a human parameter. Such mundane things do not affect me. You think a person who can’t talk, does not see me or talk to me. The vibes of your heart and thought convert to a message to me. It’s something like an infinite bit decoder.

I: Woah! Ok. That puts things into perspective.

G: And also, we are all the same. Your Ram, Rahim and Essu. We at different times have come and gone but have lived. I agree, we have been mis-interpreted. But, that again is your human perception of us.

I: That day during janmashtami, did you mind that I wore pyjamas and made the urundais for cheedai and pisinjified maavu?

G: Haa…

I: But, I took bath before doing all those things. You know madi and all that. I don’t see the point in pati’s take on madi but I thought taking bath before doing pooja is extremely essential. In college , junta don’t take bath for days, wear the same clothes for days together, so all the jingling mingling with them grossed me out. That’s why I took a bath after I came back home.

G: As long as you did your “pisinjification” and “uritification” happily and with a heart-felt desire, I really don’t mind you being in a pyjama. But, pati’s madi and aacharam has a scientific point to it. Instead of questioning everything blatantly, why don’t you use that brain a little more?

I: Okay.But amma is pretty cool with these things. So, it’s not much of a worry with me. She only expects us to be hygienic. Such pati ma formulae finds no place in her dictionary. And I am in peace with her take on madi-ness. It’s ok right?

G: If it works with you. Oh and nice kolam that day, by the way.

I: Really? You liked it? I made it with real rice maavu. My way of co-existing with the smaller creatures. That is the whole purpose of the kolam , isn’t it? It’s become a form of decorative piece in front of the house these days. My mami, uses that chalk powder type thing and pati gets so pissed….He he. I agree with her on this, though.What do you think?

G: Like I said, there is a reason to every custom. Good for people who realize it and for people who don’t, they will slowly at some point in time.

I: And, I also ate a little bit of bakshanam as soon as it was made. Even before, it was given to you. I told amma , I had some kind of pact with you in advance. I lied. But she totally bought it. Will you pierce my eyes? Kannu kutthuvela?

G: Ha-ha. I am you and you are me.

I: What? I don’t get you.

G: You Will. Give it time. Anything else?

I: I have this habit of drawing graphs to signify small, kutty and bigger things. Yesterday, an agnostic friend asked me to signify you using a graph. You know, I was so stupid as to actually give it a thought.

G: I am aware. So, have you come up with anything?

I: I drew something to the effect of a vertical asymptote and said that was you. It was like trivializing you. But that was to shut her up. I just told her that if she did math all her life assuming there was an infinity nobody had ever seen. But why couldn’t this infinity be God? Have I really trivialized you by breaking you into math?

G: Humans tend to do that. Don’t worry. Science can teach you how things happen but not why? Religion can teach you why some things have to be done but not how?

Isn’t it already late? Don’t you have to sleep?

I: Working on paper presentation. Talking about which, I am a little scared to present it and all. Will you come?

G: Of course I will. If you want me to come, you will see me at all times.

I: Where exactly will you be? Just so that I can look at you, if I am scared.

“You will find me there”, He said , pointing towards me and disappeared.

Dedicated to : Rav, who is always confused. Rango-nama, who refuses to understand " Hari yum sivanum onu, ariyathavar vaiyel manu" and does not visit shaivite temples in the pretext of being a veera vaishnavan when he very plainly is a jack.

We are all flu-ed!!

It was five in the morning as I woke up to start my day. After a little bit of breathing exercise, I made my way to the house to have my daily morning bottle of water. Something was wrong with it. Something terribly wrong. It was green! Green water. I waited for amma to finish her nature chores and come to the kitchen. As soon as she did , I burst open.

" Amma! Water is green ma. "

" Theriyum. I know."

" Naa kaarthalendhu paccha (quite literally) thanni kuda kudikala. Enna ma. What is happening? You know last sem, somebody found a roach in the hostel water cooler! Bwaagg. I don't even go near it now."

" hm.... Ok. So?"

" I want water. And not some green, algayish water"

" Hmm... You know all this swine flue chakkar everywhere."

" Ya, that is in Poona. We are in Nagpur! But, why is the water green?"

" You know vilva maram ?"

" The one at the back of our house, no? Enna ma, pudhir podara?"

" Your college has people from everywhere. Its scary whom all you share the air with!!"

" Huh?"

"Besides, In ayurveda such flue viruses can be fought with vilvam leaves. I have boiled the water with vilvam leaves in it. Its good for you only. By the time it is time for appa and me to return back , you will have a strong anti-flu bubble around you."

"It tastes like omam thanni" as I gulped a glassful of the slightly greenish water.

The mother, whom we shall henceforth call Superwoman without a cape (SWAC), is a non-practicing Ayurvedic doctor and extremely wordly wise. Later in the day, I read up about it and our monk who sold his ferrari says the same. I have always been fond of natural sciences, ways and means. Nature, I think, has most answers. To the ones nature asks us and for questions that come up anthropogenically.

Come forth into the light of things, let nature be your teacher.
-William Wordsworth

With pleasure

A new Vandi - 40,000/-

A new helmet to go with the color of the new vandi - 500/-

A thenga (coconut) for the vandi - god / god's so that he/ she saves me from prying eyes and wicked drivers around town - 10/-

A box of Haldiram Orange burfee for the extended family - 250/-

Amma riding the vandi and I sitting at the back facing the road with pearls of rain brushing past my face - Priceless!

There are certain things money can't buy. For everything else, nah, too cliched!

"Are you ladies wanting to have all the fun in the world?", they asked.
" With Pleasure" , we said.

:)

HDD

There is absolutely no space in my laptop, whom we shall call Betty's hard disk. One day when i was talking about my grave concern on Betty being fully occupied, a friend suggested that i ask appa for an external hard disk. Uhm, so that is exactly what i did. Went something like this.

Me : Appa

Appa: sollu.

M: You know, i have no memory left.

A: Snigger. Snigger. (looking at amma) See, didn't i tell you, she's been acting weird since she did that bungee jumping.

M: (haha!!) Arey appa, my Betty does not have memory.

A: (Putting his coffee cup down) Who? Who is betty? Isn't that a girl's name?

M: Nothing to do with section 377 , pa.

A: (regaining his calm) So, who is betty?

M: My laptop's name.

A: Laptop's have name and all? I thought you only named that teddy bear in your room. What did you call it? Some poo... poochi...

M: (cutting him short) Pooh ji maharaj ji.

A: Your friend tells me you sometimes forget their names. Infinite quota for such useless information, i wonder how you even have space for what actually matters.

M: Ayyo, appa. There is no memory left in my laptop anymore. I don't know what to do?

A: Delete few things :)

M: But, i don't want to.

A: What do you have in your laptop?

M: Why do you need all that info? Anyway, I have lot of this and that.

A: This and that, na?

M: This and that na purinjukoyen?

A: Your essays, photos, videos and project and all? (not with a straight face)

M: Yes, yes

A: Ok , let me see it.

M: You don't trust me, na?

A: I do, but i still want to see it. Maybe i could do something about it.

M: No, you can't .

After a lot of probing , the father realises that I have more movies , songs and the likes than any really "important" stuff.

A: I think, yes I need to get a new external Hard disk.

M: ( joyous smile on the face)

After I entered my room, i did the victory jiggle.

The day after this day. The father comes back home with a red HDD. My joy knew no bounds. I quitely waited for him to do the honors of handing the shiny gadget to me. He did hand it, later in the day to me and coolly said, " Yes, i did take your advice and have got an HDD for my use!! and yes, could you teach me how to use it?"

Something broke somewhere. Into a million pieces.

The father, I tell you!

RIP jackson!

I woke up at four today. I don't know why I did but, I did. Jackson succumbs to a cardiac arrest, they said. Five minutes and ten sites later, I gave in to the truth. I haven't listened to MJ in the last decade but I have patronized BSB, Abba, Elvis which were much before I even came to this world , but I had forgotten MJ whose music I grew up to and with.
I put on my never used playlist of MJ songs, song after song bits and pieces of the past flashed through my eyes. Most family get-togethers would have one common factor those days and that was the music. We were careful enough to divide time between our two favourites those days-Baba sehgal (oh yes!!) and the aforementioned King of Pop. I liked Pop and particularly Jackson because my brother liked him. One of the best things about growing up with an elder brother is you know what you must like, what the brother follows you follow, what he likes you like! Things are very different now, of course.
The family would sit in a circle, as the brother and I would take the black tiled centre stage. We went in ellipses albeit in our own orbits. Jumped up and down, moved our hands, stretched our feet, collided, fell down, got up back again and also did imaginary hooplas. When, I watched one such video a few days back, I bashfully put my head down at my own stupidity. The mother called it "rendu perukum saami vandha madhiri iruku" as the video watching crowd burst into peals of laughter that are still echoing. Our theatrics were a theatrical disaster. After we would dance for 20 minutes or so, I would be taken aside and the centre stage would be the exclusive property of my brother. People would cheer and jeer as though it was Mr.MJ himself! This performance, my dear readers, was the favourite of many to date. Anna would do the moon walk like only MJ could. I tried very hard, I secretly try it when I am alone even today but No, this particular thing escapes my physical faculty. I hated him for it. The way he sashayed across the floor like an eel. The semi-spoilt kid that I was I would sit on my Mom's lap and wouldnt look at him. Jealousy!
An hour would go by and I would forget everything else and would come up with my own walk known as the "mars" walk. It basically was pretty simple and do-able. You walk normally backwards but put your hands forward and move it like the leg-motion in the moon-walk. My brother would then cheer me and I would sleep a happy kid.
I would do anything to get those days back again. I would.
Some such best memories of my life that i take everywhere with me in my mind's eye has been created amidst MJ's songs. Every good, bad and ugly happenings of mine have always been associated with music.
So here's to the King of Good Times, The King of Pop and To the eternalised King of Moon walk, We bow....

Update: An old classmate reminds me of my school performance on MJ's Heal the world.One of the best I have ever felt on stage was for it. :)

Heart Calls

His hand turned the golden of the door knob; a shiver ran through his veins on touching the cold metal. He entered the door to his empty home, no not a home, he thought to himself. This was just a house. The home is where the heart is and for him, it was amongst the Lodhi garden where he had let his sister score a ten thousand runs, the mama road staircase where she had written K anna with the mother’s red lipstick, on the study table in front of the window near the guava tree where me mugged for his board exams and the most in the kitchen that was once small but had been turned into what his grandmother pointed out was unnecessary extension by the new lady who had taken over the reigns. He remembered a particular day when he had tugged the sarree of his sleeping chitti at one in the night asking for roti and beetroot subji.
“Also a glass of bormee, chitti” he quipped, as she made her way into the kitchen from the bathroom.
He entered the coldness of the room and habitually switched on his laptop. The Microsoft opening credit gave a little tune to the otherwise serene surrounding. His stomach grumbled and mumbled as his laptop, Archie revealed the picture of his family. He would do anything for a plate of sambar sadam topped with the home-made nei. He waited for the wi-fi to connect him to the world he wanted to connect physically to but couldn’t. He carefully arranged his socks and shoes in the stand. Everything had to go to its rightful place after it was done, he always said.
“What about you? Don’t you have to go back to where you came from? Isn’t your work done in this place?” He closed his heart from taking over his head any further and made his way to the bathroom and took a quick bath while chanting the hanuman chalisa. He made his way to the semi-pseudo-ish God’s zone which he had tried to recreate like his pati’s, bare-chested but for a thread did the sandhyavandanam.He skipped to the kitchen to grab a bite. His mind half wandered through the pages of naukri.com and his institute job site and absent-mindedly re-heated the day before yesterday’s daal and the yesterday’s rice. The monster hunt for a job was taking a toll on him. The recession was sucking from within and without.
“Wouldn’t it be nice to have a wife who would make hot meals for you when you returned home? Why don’t you get married da?” the sister had casually pointed out yesterday during their usual morning conversations. She was half hoping he would reply that wives weren’t robots who only cooked and cleaned but equal partners whom you loved and cared for and vice-versa. When he hadn’t, she just rolled her eyes. Men!

(to be contd, when feel like)

Dark Love

The night is dark, as dark as the girl watching it grow darker. She gives a customary parting glance to the God’s acre replete with poppies of every color-red, green, yellow, black and white as she walks back to the church. She had traced and retraced these paths one Sunday after another. She morosely walks towards the cross to confess a sin she hasn’t committed but which no degree of absolution can take away. it is a sin the humankind has committed against her. The choices that the peccancy had culminated in had been against her will but so was the way she was made by the almighty God. The ecclesiastical architecture gave her a sense of reassurance about herself and of the choices she has made in her life. Closing her eyes, she elegantly knelt beside the pew in tacit contemplation.

Katherine mariammal Athyal was born in the small town of Kattathurai in Tamil Nadu as the only daughter of a couple that had not borne an offspring for 5 years of their matrimony. The Athyal household had rejoiced on the fateful day with balloons, crackers, cakes and had given out huge sums of money on charity. The mother had had a hard time in labor as the doctors confirmed the relative’s agony.” The mother and the daughter both are in danger, I am afraid” the doctor mechanically said. But the child agreed to disagree and made its way out.
“You look exactly like your grandfather”, said the grandmother, lovingly reminiscent, as she oiled Kathy’s hair. “The way you read with a clicking of the tongue, the way you smile with a lip slightly stretched on one end, just like your apupan. Even, your math skills, you know your apupan had been the most famous kanakupillai. If only the man was alive to see my little princess. Also, dark just like him.But he was a man;didn't matter.Lucky your father is rich otherwise these days even ugly fellows want fair kuttys for themselves. njaan parenyjanthu cheriyille?”
After the hair was oiled and braided she ran into her room to observe herself in front of the mirror. She opened the intricate powder holder with a handle having a figurine of a fairy, and gently picked the puff and smothered her face with the Yardley powder her uncle Jacob had got from the gulf. He had promised it would make her look as pretty as the moon on a full moon night. After the little exercise, she did look like the moon, she thought. But without the powdered talc she looked like those dark clouds through which the moon played peek-a-boo sometimes. Her moist eyes pierced through the glasses at the dark girl that was looking back at her.
She wanted to hate herself for being this color. She hadn’t been picked up in her school plays for which she had rehearsed the lines a million times over for her favorite part of the red riding hood. Instead, she had been under the hood for the part of the fox. Why does beauty have to be associated with white? Hadn't the fair-skinned medusa become the monster of lore because of her vanity? What use was such external appearance? In such times her only solace had been her God

I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. John 13:34

Who were we to differentiate one from another?

Having so many questions but answers to none she put all her efforts on being fair at what she could. She was a fair human being-loving, caring and gentle and studied as hard as she could to forget it.Soon,it was time for her to move her base to madras. Her small town had been happy to send a daughter of the land to a pattinum for higher studies. The importance of external beauty for the city-folks had made her appearance more obvious than they ever were. She eventually made friends of all kinds-ones who accepted her for what she was and others who didn’t. One such relationship that had creeped in as an acquaintance was a man named Roshan.On their first meet , he eyed her enquiringly as though wanting to know more of her while she coyly hid behind her friend. The acquaintance gradually turned to a dream as she held hands with him in the beach and they kissed passionately under the moonlit night. She asked him innocently "You don't have a problem with me being dark, do you? Why do you still love.....", as he kept his finger on her lips motioning her to stop and kissed her again.” Look at the sky, my love. Don’t we see the beautiful stars only when it grows dark? Beauty is found in places you least expect it”. As these days turned to years, they promised to be there for each other through thick and thin. He promised "We will get married in a month as soon as I attend my sister's marriage"
She remembered the day, it happened. She had been missing her periods for a week now and when she opened her message inbox

Parents have found me a bride. Engagement’s done. Our picture is attached. Please forget me.

Her world came crashing down on her.

The picture attached showed a beautiful young "fair" lady hugging the man who had been the cause of her state now. Her suspicions were later in the day confirmed. She was going to be a mother. A million thoughts rushed through her head. Should she cross the proverbial Rubicon and be an unwed single mother to the kid that was hers? What would the world make of her and treat "them”? Her household would treat her as an outcast.” If only i had been fair, perhaps the world would have been fair to me” she cried.
A hand touched her head which nudged her out of meditation. She opened her tear-filled eyes only to realize it was nobody she could see. She walked across the Holy Cross and lachrymosely uttered

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I killed my child......"

Personality Type

Recently in a certain contact program ,We were asked to take the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator personality test.I will get to the result a little later but what struck me beyond anything else about this test was ,it was formulated by a mother-daughter duo.It puzzles me how they got any work done.Anyhow,the test was extremely boring with repetitive questions.I must confess ,if it wasn't for the company i had while doing the test, i would have dozed off.Believe me,i am capable of sleeping in any kind of atmosphere, which reminds me of a certain happening in school.

It was a Thursday afternoon just after break.I used to squeeze in badminton practice session in the lunch hour those days hence was always sleepy after that.Today,i wouldn't dream of doing it.How priority changes at different phases in life?Isn't it amazing?Yes,it is.
It was the chemistry class.I hated the subject like i hated nothing else,the teacher like i can hate no one ever and the cloud looming above me during the class was that of hatred,basically.I had absolutely no interest in what she had to say only because she knew nothing.To make a silent statement,unconsciously my eye lids would droop.To my utter amazement i later found out that she was okay with it and only because i did not irritate her by asking questions like i used to, in the beginning classes.Ah!How i miss those lovely sun-filled days in skirts sleeping on the first bench. :) Bliss....

The results of the test came out and i was shocked by the revelations.I had expected to be a ENFP type.
i was surprised when they said i am an INTJ.

On careful analysis of my own self ,i realized the test wasn't an exaggeration.Many of my characteristics are similar to the ones expected of a classic INTJ.Although,in the leaflet which i got, apart from the rest of the blurb the one that stands out to me is INTJ's are skeptical.I don't know how much of the others are true but this one's definitely right.I hate this particular aspect of my personality.I am extremely critical most times to most of my decisions.
I wasn't sure about the test when i took it but once i got my results it somehow made me look at it differently.Nut just the test but also at myself.I personally believe everybody must be put through the rigor ,if not for anything else but to make you a little more patient.

Here's to the mother-daughter duo and to the profs who helped me analyze the results.
cheers :)

And dinner again today :)

I am extremely jobless and satisfied with life per se.Three months of holidays.The results came as soon as we wrote the examination and The GPA was decent.I read at least one book a day.I have done a lot of things i have not in my last few years which makes me very happy.The 10 days (10-19 may) were one of the most beautiful and memorable in my life.Something I am going to cherish for as long as life is going to take me.So much of nothing to do makes me contemplate and retrospect over certain decisions in my life.It's unhealthy at times but it's good to know I still have a little motivation for few things in life.

I would have done hotel management if it wasn't for my extremely tam-brahmic sensibility of not touching anything that walks and then is killed to get into your stomach.Every time I cook i am reminded of this by friends and family.Someday this passion of mine will be a huge determining force in my life.I know.I promise this to myself :) How and when? We shall see.

We had people today for dinner.Close friends.So,i made some (white sauce) cheese pasta and Tiramisu.The mother and the other lady do not consume egg,coffee and kahlua (liquor based).So,i had to make two separate batches.But,it was all worth it.

Here is a look :)











And now for the dessert....




P.S: Somebody asked me if my last pasta was mix and cook type thing.No,it wasn't.I make my pasta sauces both red and white from scratch.Incidentally,the tiramisu here was also made from scratch.The base was baked,the whipped cream was made and the mascarpone filling was whipped by me :)

The Birthday that was

00:00 A chocolate cake that I will always cherish

00:01
to Innumerable hugs, kisses, calls and songs
4:00

5:00 The younger roomie wakes me up

5:30 Other hugs that mattered

6:00 Yoga

6:45 The birthday song and wishes

Lunch:The big chocolate chippy cake with some on my face,the boats and the photo clicks :)

Sometime in the afternoon: The gift that mattered the most.I can't tell you how touched I was.As much as I am ever capable of being.

Late-afternoon ,most of evenings and the nights even: Good-bye hugs,hugs of promise and of hope and of the love that unknowingly bonded each of us together as a single family.


Suddenly,Ahmedabad felt like a city I belonged to,a city full of people I knew who cared and a city I would come again to.Someday,yes,I will :)

To every soul who made it happen.I love you :)

Signing off with Infinite hugs,
Illa pilla :)

If only he knew.....

It had just struck five .Just like no two women in India agreed, so did no two clocks. His biological clock had always been right. He was missing his old place, where the grass was green, where he could see the cloud effortlessly merging into the green at a distance. The new city life or whatever the people who had brought him here called it was not for him. He had been feeling suffocated since he had stepped in.
This too shall pass, he thought. If only he knew.
This would pass too soon for him to even remember, like a dream. It would dissolve in a split of a second even before someone could say Mississippi.
If only he knew.

The sunlight wouldn't reach him for another hour, he reminded himself. He missed the beautiful countryside he grew up in and morosely looked at the quiet surrounding him. In his village it had been differentia girl in tattered clothes would have started tethering them together all the while singing a quite melancholy. The tune resounded in his head. He wanted to be back with his friends .One might argue as to what was so great about being bunched up together. What would these doubting and questioning kinds know anyways was his answer. He wanted to be free, that's what he was sent to this world for. Or that's what he had been thinking all this while.

As suddenly as his head filled with past images of the girl, the grass, the river by the cottage where he and his friends would bleat together till it was time to go back to the shed, he felt a shadow on him. Then, it happened even before he could shout .He seethed in pain. Even before he could react, it was a blood-bath. He tried talking but only a stammer escaped his mouth. With no choice he surrendered meekly and finally succumbed.

Whilst the man had done his job. He rubbed his bloody hand to his kurta and picked up the carcass. He smiled a toothless grin. This would make the best mutton biryani at home, he thought.

I ran

MY BROKEN KNEE AND ME
(The most hapless I have felt in a long time)

It was not raining, the pouring kinds. It was a heavy drizzle. The weather looked perfect for a quiet day by the window-side, watching the wet world move past while you gossiped with your mom and drank cups after cups of caffeine and munched into crispy hot fritters or anything hot and crispy. I somehow didn't want to do just that. I knew I did not want to just see the world move by, I wanted to be a part of it. The thoughts were too much to take. I quietly motioned to get up from my reclining chair.

"You want anything? Something bothering you?"

“Amma,can we please go out?"

She quietly looked at my face and then my leg. I felt like a whimpering little dog with a broken leg that nobody wanted. I hated sympathy.But, this wasn't S, I knew.

"Car drive? Or a walk? We can't walk, it’s raining and with that leg of yours, I am not sure. Are you sure, priya? Won’t it hurt?"

"Not when you are there with me amma", I wanted to say. But I didn’t. I never said these things.Never.Not to my amma, not to anyone else I loved.No one ever.

I remained quiet and swiftly held the nearest support and stood on my two feet albeit a knee slightly bent. I wanted to tell her that I was as fit as a hum... as fit as, oh it didn't matter. Suddenly, I went weak and fell back on the chair.
"Such an idiot”, I told myself.
My face went red, as red as a hum....yes, a tomato. The mother quietly looked on.

"Ok kanna, whatever you say. But only if you promise you will wear your coat. You can catch a cold, you know"

The whimpering dog was suddenly ecstatic and did a mental dance. In the next fifteen minutes that I took to get into my jeans and my coat, amma was waiting outside.Amma walked in the front as I slowly trudged behind.

"Sit in the back seat, if you are uncomfortable in the front seat. You want to go to your favorite place, no? And BW ku polama?"

"Amma,vendaam.Can we just walk? pleasee?"

"With this knee?Enna paithiyama?"

"Ammmmm....aaaa,please ma..."

"seri,seri.Just today,ok?"

I quietly went and hugged her from the back.We started walking slowly, gentle and cool sprays of rain on our faces. We talked about everything I had missed in the last four months. I spoke in my Marathi only she understood when we felt someone could listen to us. I used my oft ill timed muhanvarey which only she understood. I laughed my bitchiest laugh only she wouldn't take offence to. I asked her secret vattha-kozhambu recipe for the millionth time since I had started cooking. She animatedly explained with the patience only a mom could have. I was listening but I knew I would ask her again the next time. I sniffed the fresh air. It suddenly smelt of her vattha kozhambu.
"Ma,neku iniku vattha kozhambu and keerai mesiyal venum.okay?"
"Seri .Seri"

We walked some more, talked a lot more, enjoyed the weather like never before. The weather and the aura seemed electrifying. I had forgotten my knee.

"Are you ok? Can you walk? Does it hurt? We will again go to the doctor tommorrow.seri aa?"

"Nee sonna seri ma"

"Priya.."

"sollu ma,enna achu?"

"Ice cream venuma?"

"Ice cream aa?Its brrr cold"

"You want,no?"

"If you wish,let's …."

She helped me up the low-lying stairs as I held her hand tight.With her i would never fall,I knew.

"A double scoop butter pecan and a single cup low-fat vanilla please"she ordered.
Amma's knew everything.They really did.

She quietly watched me slurping.She smiled. I watched her watching me. I thought she didn't know just like she thought I didn't know of the mutual glances. I caught hold of her as tight as before and got down the stairs again. I wanted to tell her something. What something? I never knew what to say. Least in such times when I wanted to tell people this somethings.But I wanted to say something, something very strong. I quietly kissed her on her cheeks as light moisture-filled air made their way through my coat as I opened the only closed button. I threw my arms wide open and I ran. My knee didn't hurt. I wondered why.Oh shoot didn't care about my knee anymore. My hair flying in the breeze, took in the air. I looked at amma.The best memories with her rushed past my head. I was numb. I felt pain but not in my knee. It was a sweet pain. I wondered where. And I did what I wanted to do.

I opened my arms wide open and I ran.
I ran....
I ran....

yayy...a thousand.

An exact thousand hits since the five months of its inception.Yes,i do make it sound like a very grand affair. (Applause)
Now,no need to go that far to give me a standing ovation. :P
Well,thanks for all my visitors but just one crib.I pray thou NOT to send scraps on my orkut profile regarding blog-ular matters instead leave a comment right here on my blog.Thank you in advance.:) :)
The viva-voce/performenace/test week is just around the corner followed by the enticing end-sem week. I already have adrenaline zits on my face and my overdose of caffeine is just worsening the situation.
PFFT.Can't wait to get started with the mugging and can't wait to get them done with.
Beshtu lucku to anyone,anywhere going through the same.
yayyyy!!

Getting A High!

Who need's drugs to go high?
Who need's booze to get drunk?
Who need's Fag to get addicted?

WE HAVE PINK FLOYD!!!!!
:):)

Atheism

The law of gravitation existed even when it wasn't discovered.It existed even when it was being discussed and denied by many.It won't cease to exist even if we forget it a hundred,thousand or million years later.

So does God.....

You take a finite amount of time say an hour,two hours or how much ever to learn a particular academic fundae.A lifetime you say is not enough for people to understand you.You,sometimes feel you cannot comprehend yourself.It takes a lifetime to know things,people and anything around you and not without continous effort.But,you expect to know,understand,feel,see,touch God with no effort or little effort.Failing which you deny His existence and claim to be an atheist.
Whose fault is it?

NAVRATRI was HERE!!

22


Navami h.52-45 , Uttarasadha Nakshatra h.54-38 , Atiganda Yoga h.02-08 , Balava Karana h.20-37

The last day of Navratri and yours truly has finally risen from her slumber.I wanted to post a lot of things for the last few days but too many journal,assignment deadlines coupled with quiz/sessionals/tests have prevented me against my wish to do so.
The season of coulours,dances,celebration,sweets,food was here.The celebration of Shakti/Devi,the consort of Shiva/Vishnu in all her glory.The celebration of Womanhood.Nine days of pure,unadulterated festivity.Brilliantly colored rangolis,pulchutridonously clad women,the bengali-pandals,the gujurati stick-dance and garbas and my Tamizh golus.

For the uninitiated,this is what the hindu festival of navratri is all about.

Goddess also known as shakti or devi is worshipped in three forms with nine names.One for each day.
Durga,the annihilator of everything evil and wicked is worshipped on the first three days.
Lakshmi,bestower of material wealth,money,power,fame on the next three days.
Finally Saraswati,the goddess of wisdom,education,knowledge is venerated on the third.

((The three together could be considered an equivalent of the powerpuff girls.))

On the ninth day all of us who normally claim to study hard throughout the year, give it a rest and let our brains and books cool.That is on Saraswati puja.
The next day ,on the eve of ayuthu puja we clean,bathe and dress all the intruments that make our living possible.Anything from a pen,scooter,AK-47,Bazooka,needle,zhadu is cleaned and given its share of manjal, kumkum.
Then,we have the Vijayadashami which is considered an auspicious day to start anything.Also,on this day we pay our obeisance to our teachers or guru's.
On the final day we celebrate Dusshera.On this day an effigy of Ravana is burnt in most parts of northern india symbolising the victory of good over evil.


According to smartha tradition Devi is considered as one of the five supreme powers.An equivalent of wonder-woman of the smarthan justice league.She is the female aspect of divine sans whom the male power becomes null and void.Hence,this festival celebrates the female divinty and power.
Three cheers to WOMAN-POWER! :)

Some of my best memories are associated with this time of the year.The most obvious being the GOLU.
Few things i really missed owing to me not being at home were:
1)The cleaning and laying of the ziggurat like golu padi and the dolls,which i claimed to hate but secretely loved doing, amidst all of my mom's obfuscatory instructions.
2)Cloying amounts of protein overdose on all nine days from all of my mom's friends.And an even priceless discussion of it's palatability ranging from "thu,ennadi idhu"."blech,yevlov uppu/oil","besh besh,perfect".
3)Sitting through croaking mami's singing who gently reminded us,"ippo thondai seri illai,avlova nalla padu midiyadhu".While, me and my friends discussed

"I wonder what sen aunty and gumbal are doing.i wish i was a bong,cha!"

"don't worry,you can still marry one di"

4)Waiting for the list of people invited to pack-off home so we could run off to our dandiya night,just to watch our gujju sisters majestically frugging around the dance floor while we desperately tried to catch on or just watched gapingly.

5)Misti doi,moti choor,sweet sundal,rasgulla,milk kheer......(sigh)

6)And ,not to forget the hours spent getting dressed in pink,orange,kajal,bangles,huge ear-rings and everything else.

Festivities are not times you just pray to a deity for something material,for me it is a time i thank Her for the family,friends and everything else i am blessed with.It is not about kolu,dandia,dressing,sweets ,it is about the memories and the people with whom you enjoyed all the above.

Here,i take this opportunity to give my season greetings to all mami's,mama's,uncle,auntie's,friends,pati,tata's,fellow tams and blog readers.

Yah,better late than never!

And,here is a small surprise for you.Since,i could not be at home and be a part of everything i wrote above.Here,is a little something i could come up with.Before that a small description.

KOLU means a sovereign sitting in her royal durbar. As per belief, the concept of arranging these Navrathri dolls on the plank is to depict that Goddess Mahishasuramardini is sitting in her Kolu, prior to the slaying of the demon Mahishasura.
Thanks a ton to SHANKY for helping me out with this.Few errors but i was too lazy to do it again.




No.You are not getting sundal until you sing or dance or mimic or show any one of your talents.Whatever it is that you do well,just record it and send it to me and i will showcase your talent on my blog.Then,you will be sent a complimentary pack of sundal,vathalai pakku,kannadi,pottu,seepu,valai. :) positively!
And for guys,will take you to the next dandiya raas :) positively!
you are just a camera or recorder away!

HAPPY NAVRATRI,DUSSERA AND EVERYTHING ELSE!!!!

(By the time most of you read this,you would have already digested all the edible and non-edible thoughts/entities of the celebration.Not my fault,Education kills.)

AH.....Chooooo!!!

Three of us were sitting jobless when....

Me: "I have added this 'My follower' on my blog.You people go and become my followers."
Friend 1: "UM.....All that is ok.But what do we get??"
Me: "silence".pause (oh yeah!i can speak with my silent button on too!) "more silence."
F1: "Tell.What do we get in return?"
Me:"You get my blessings" (feeling very smart)
F1:"Even when we do not sneeze?" (with an obvious smirk)
Me:(lol look)

five minutes later.

I got up to leave.

Friend3(who was sitting there all along listening to the exchange of words very quietly but intently): HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......(rolling on the floor)HA HA HA HA.

Me(was almost out when i came back running in):What happened?(With my eyes the size of tennis balls)

F3:"That was so funny"(all along stifling a laughter)...."even if i don't sneeze part".....ha ha ha ha ha ha.

I quietly but finally exited the room with a smile writ large on my face.

Talk about TubeLights!!

:):)

lemon and lime

In the hostel today,near the white tiled hole which i call the sauna this was the conversation between two girls waiting their turn at the wash basin to wash their cups and glasses.They were holding their respective Vim liquid soap bottles.

Girl1: Arey yaar!Kitna time lagate hain yeh log.Bai log hato hato.Jaldi.Mereko ED karna hai yaar.
Girl2:(all the while not paying attention to what G1 is saying) hm........
G1:Kya sadma pohonch gaya kya?
G2:hm.........
G1:(jerking G2 forward and backwards)
G2:huh?!? Tera vim yellow hai aur mera green.aise kaise??! (with the most confused look on the face of earth)
G3:Arey simple!!Mera pakka nimbu aur tera kachcha nimbu.

I found it incredibly funny and i had to put it somewhere.GH rocks!!

:) :) :)

THE START OF SOMETHING NEW

woo hoo.
woo hoo.
dhin chaa.dhin dhin.
This is the song for my i-am-elated dance.
Why is she so elated?One might ask.I have started my own blog.duh!
Have been reading some blogs for few months.Some real nice with big barron words and everything.So much so that i check the URL just to be sure that it does not say ilikesoundinglikeadictionary.com,others that were written with the sole motive of making the readers mind as miserable as the writers.In case,i turn out to be one of the latter,it is not my fault.Some unknown forces are scheming against me.There is no way i am becoming the first.Out of choice or that's what i like to think.

So,now i am a part of the band..er..blogwagon.Let's see how my tune goes.When i think of a band ,i see myself playing the bagpipes for some strange reason.So i assure we are going to have some tough jam sessions ahead.
Good Luck to me and to you, my dear readers.
bhelcome....
:):)